Orulio News

The only source for real news


Tish Remmly

Tish Remmly is an award-winning culture writer from Chicago. She prides herself in her craft and incredible eye for detail that makes her writing some of the best that Orulio has to offer!

Favorite Food: Yogurt.
Weight: 122 lbs.


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Beth Mann

Beth is our resident cool guy. He’s a gifted gossip and opinion writer and also a convicted sex offender.

Favorite Food: Crabs with lemon.
Weight: 157 lbs.


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K-Train is an entertainment writer from Los Angeles, California who was a pretty big deal back in the early ’90s. On Orulio, though, he has had a second wind writing articles about the topics he is truly passionate about.

Favorite Food: Farts lol.
Weight: 72 kg.


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Jeffrey is a wonderful creative writer and news titan from Wyoming, dedicated to the daily scoop and getting the facts to the people!

Favorite Food: Lamb chops and a nice bisque.
Weight: 133 lbs.


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Ralph “Big Ears” Guanhulio

Ralph “Big Ears” Guanhulio was a multi-faceted writer from the heartland of Mississippi who can tackle it all. He was always the first to break the scoop, leaving no stone unturned. In 2022, he tragically choked to death in the bathroom of a Pizza Hut.

Favorite Food: Chips.
Weight: 114 lbs.


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Brick Lemonhead

Brick Lemonhead is a tough investigative journalist from the Bronx. He’s an intimidating and aggressive figure, who will rip the faces off of his enemies to break the big story.

Favorite Food: Raw steak.
Weight: 194 lbs.


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Gorch Rubin

Gorch Rubin is a business innovator and hair stylist from Detroit. He has a mind for business and a passion for music, but has vowed to never write about paintings or any similar forms of artwork, which he has described as “useless bile.”

Favorite Food: A hearty supper (?).
Weight: 162 lbs.


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Timothy “Timmy” Devigorerrazuriz 

Timmy Devigorerrazuriz hails from Baltimore, where he spends his day-to-day honing his watergun hobby. When away from the watergun, he spends his time admiring trains and popcorn. He’s a dedicated reporter on all things “balloon” and “silly.”

Favorite Food: Sugar cookie.
Weight: 64 lbs.


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Iznardo’s origins are unknown. What is known is his love of holistic teachings and for the group of 20-somethings he affectionately refers to as the “children of the leaves,” whom all live in a series of tents in the forest behind Orulio’s headquarters.

Favorite Food: Grapes.
Weight: 132 lbs.


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Reverend McGillis

Reverend McGillis has three devoted passions—the church, the steeple, and Stephen King. He presents Orulio with fresh articles on the Lord and on the gorefest horror he consumes daily.

Favorite Food: The body of Christ.
Weight: 198 lbs.


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