[by Gorch Rubin | Aug 8th, 2023]
Tragedy struck last night’s musical performance by novelty duo “Soundass”.
Hailing originally from a small island in the Atlantic Ocean, the duo gained their following in New Orleans before briefly disbanding they described as “necessary to release the immense backlog of masterpieces we have clogging the music industry’s bloodstream.” It is so: the group have released an album a month for 2 years, often releasing more than one per month.
Soundass announced their first major U.S. tour in early June. The tour, initially intended to span 16 dates and 13 cities, ended abruptly when a fire broke out during the tour’s 5th date in Bozeman, Montana. The hole-in-the-wall saloon Club Chevez burst into flames after an “indoor pyrotechnics” display set the stage curtains ablaze and large box fireworks made craters in the roof of the tiny establishment.
When questioned for comment, a representative who went only by the title “Soundass Josh” explained that the pyrotechnics display was conceived by Ooli Technologies—a burgeoning entertainment and software development company that has recently dabbled with small-scale explosive technology. Soundass Josh explained that this new dangerous branch of Ooli Technologies is spearheaded by multimedia guru Fred Furner and an unknown inventor named Buster Crow. He explained that these two conceived the idea of the explosive display with the members of Soundass.
Despite being regarded as a duo, Soundass took the stage with a 23-piece band. According to concertgoers of previous dates in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Boise, the show typically ran for just shy of 8 hours. There were many costume changes, special appearances, and lulls. Bozeman, Montana was the first and last location to witness Ooli Technologies’ indoor pyrotechnics display, as midway through a performance of the band covering an old delta blues song “Rolling Mill Blues” by Peg Leg Howell, several fireworks shot into the ceiling, causing Club Chevez to explode completely.
The current body count is twelve corpses, though in a local police statement, Sheriff Mosby declared that “body parts were thrown every which way” and that “there’s no telling how many people died because bodies just burst into a million little pieces.”
Both Soundass and Ooli Technologies are being sued by the city of Bozeman, while the owner and proprietor of Club Chevez, a man known only as “Tunka”, is being sued by several of the victims’ families. The case is still an open investigation, with more information on the mortality rate coming soon to the press.